The Many Paths We Lead: My Journey Towards Acceptance

Hello, friends. This is an exact re-post of a blog that originally appeared on the blog of the NYU Center for Spiritual Life (where I interned for ten weeks) in the summer of 2012. I played a large role in designing the website during my time there, and had the honor of writing the first full post that appeared on the blog.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” –Mother Teresa

That quote from Mother Teresa really resonates with me.  I interpret it as a challenge to really change the way I think about the world and how I interact with people who are different from me. Whether  we differ in race, gender, sexuality, faith, opinion, or anything, I try to live every day by the principle of accepting people as they are. Every person is different, and rather than focusing on whether people fit into my narrow view of the world, I try to celebrate the unique path every person takes in life.

This is a mindset that it has taken me some time to come to. Growing up, I was your typical goodie two-shoes—studying hard, getting good grades, being involved in my religious community, not dating because I was too busy with schoolwork/honor societies/flute/piano/sports/whatever. Leading such a focused life came naturally to me. But it meant that I subconsciously judged other people who didn’t meet the same tight standards. Why should it matter that so-and-so spent more time watching T.V. than studying? Why did everyone not feel the need to live a solitary life in order to get into a good college?

I was naïve. But I was the worst kind of naïve—the kind that believes I am so open-minded and so accepting, that I am immune to faults in that reasoning. Admittedly, I had always been willing to accept people who were different in other ways. New kid at school? Of course they had to sit at our lunch table. A member of our friend group coming out to identify as homosexual? Glad you felt comfortable enough to tell us. A regular attendant at an alternative faith group’s religious services? I’m happy that you found a spiritual comfort zone. But anything I thought broke my strict “moral” standards I couldn’t handle. I never acted on my opinions, of course, but I held them all the same.

Luckily, the events in my life over the past four years or so have shocked me out of this black and white view of the world. Perhaps it was seeing that all of my obsessive studying and my nun-like lifestyle did not get me into that top school that I was shooting for. Or maybe it was the extensive research I have done on contemporary antisemitism in Europe. Or—most likely—maybe it was moving out of New York to Virginia, Italy, and Wales, that really opened my eyes to the limitless number of ways people can choose to live their lives.

I’m not saying I’m completely judgment-free, nor do I ever expect to be so. But every day when I step out of my door, I will continue to make a conscious effort to improve myself. To observe without criticizing. To see through another’s eyes. To love everyone unconditionally.

And I challenge you to do the same.

Now go out and love one another.

<3,
Allyson

The original post appears here: http://www.nyuspirituallife.org/2012/09/04/the-many-paths-we-lead-my-journey-towards-acceptance/