Wednesday, October 23, 2013

"Four Things I Learned From My Catholic Mother that Have Made Me a Better Jew," a Blog Post on URJ

Hello, friends!

For those who have not yet seen it, I wanted to share a post I wrote that was recently published on the Union for Reform Judaism's (URJ) website. It's entitled "Four Things I Learned From My Catholic Mother that Have Made Me a Better Jew" (though there are a lot more than just four things): http://goo.gl/XDhBqo

Mama Z on the left, me on the right (in Ireland, 2010)

I really appreciate that the URJ, which is my part of Judaism, was willing to publish something I wrote, especially when even some Reform Jews today are not big fans of interfaith marriage.

The piece actually came about when, six months ago, I was browsing the URJ website and saw a type of "question and answer" section where apparently Reform rabbis could answer questions submitted by different people. The question I saw was something to the effect of, "What does Judaism think about interracial marriage?" which seemed like a no-brainer to me, obviously we are fine with interracial marriage. But it was an odd enough question that I decided to look at the answer--and indeed, the rabbi who answered it said that of course, interracial marriage is fine...and then he went off on a small rant about how while interracial marriage is fine, interfaith marriage is not.

For the record, this is not the official ideology of liberal Reform Judaism (though it is for the Conservative and Orthodox movements), since Reform Judaism tries to welcome people in interfaith marriages. I could not let that go unnoticed, especially something so hidden in a completely unrelated section, so I wrote a comment on the post to let people know that I was not okay with it.  

My exact comment on the post was this:

"'Judaism feels' that it is best for the Jewish people when Jews marry other Jews'
Yet again, URJ, I am surprised and saddened that our movement still exhibits these feelings against interfaith marriage. It may not seem like a big deal, but when you are living the Jewish faith and chose Reform Judaism specifically for its supposed 'welcoming' nature towards interfaith couple, more traditionalist sentiments like this hurt every time."

I did not really think anything would come of my comment, but two people from the URJ actually wrote back to me very soon after (including a rabbi) and acknowledged that the answer was not coherent with liberal Judaism. As a result, they took that part of the response down and then invited me to write a blog post for them. Wonderful! Changes will not come about if people do not make a fuss when things need to change.

Unfortunately, just now, I found another something on the URJ website that bothers me: http://www.reformjudaism.org/we-are-adopting-baby-boy-we-had-him-circumcised-must-he-undergo-conversion-ceremony-be-jewish

Basically, the post says that someone who is adopted needs to undergo a conversion ceremony to be Jewish. This is wrong according to our movement's theology. In Reform Judaism, even if you are adopted, as long as one of your parents (the people who raise you) is Jewish, and you are raised in the faith, then you are Jewish.

Since I'm adopted, I've discussed this many times, including during a visit to the Reform rabbinical school, Hebrew Union College - Jewish Institute of Religion, in Manhattan last summer (making sure I would be eligible to attend their school if I wanted to--the answer was a resounding yes). Alas, it would seem that another URJ post does not fit with our theology. Rather than comment this time, I sent along an e-mail, and I expect that I will hear back soon, since I have only had lovely experiences so far with the people at URJ. I will put a follow-up comment on this post about their response when I do.

So make a fuss! Let people know when you disagree! And most of all, stick up for what you know to be true, because it might lead to some exciting things.

Now go out and love one another.

<3,
Allyson

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Yay Allyson! Making your voice heard one issue at a time :) Thanks for providing this background to your original article.

Unknown said...

Excellent piece Allyson and thanks for raising such interesting points! It sounds important for the reform approach towards adoption to be highlighted as you have done, and even applied across the board!

Lucas said...

Hi Allyson.

I saw your blog from the article you wrote on the URJ website. I can really relate to a lot of what you write about. I am also adopted, but my birth mother was Jewish and my adopted parents are Christian. So growing up I would go to Shabbat by myself or with other Jewish friends, and go to church with my parents on their major holidays. Even though I consider myself Jewish, I got to see the good that is in Christianity and can now appreciate somethings from it. I look forward to your posts!

Unknown said...

Thank you all for your comments.

Mr. Pet Peeve, very interesting take on this all. I am glad to hear you appreciate parts of other religions as well--it is such an important part of life, and yet many religious people (or non-religious people) seem to not open themselves up to the possibility that a different way of living might actually have something wonderful that theirs doesn't. It doesn't have to mean switching to a different religion, just appreciating and learning from it. Thanks for posting!

Susan Katz Miller said...

This is a beautiful post Allyson, and congratulations on getting it on the URJ website. It's clear they should invite you to write another one now on adoption issues in Reform Judaism, from your perspective. Anyway, I'm glad your blog is going well, and your words are being heard.

Unknown said...

Thank you very much, Susan. I really appreciated knowing about your blog before I got mine started, and by chance a friend of mine recently asked if I had heard of you when she saw an advertisement for an event you were holding in D.C. The idea for an adoption article on URJ is a good one, I will keep it in mind!

Interfaith and the Environment: Quoted in a Zoroastrian Publication

Hello, friends. Last August, I attended the Parliament of the World's Religions in Chicago and was excited to present on a few panels wi...