#BeBlue

Hello, friends!

I've been writing this blog for just about three months now...and guess what? We've reached over 700 unique visitors! That's completely crazy. Thank you to everyone who is here for the first time and to those who have read every post I have written so far. It was very humbling to reach that number, truly. Every time someone unexpected walks up to me and says, "I read your blog" or "I shared your blog with some people today" or "I agree with the ideas on your blog," I feel honestly shocked, but also very blessed.

What I hope this means is that there are a couple of hundred people out there in cyberland who believe what I believe: that the main way we can prevent religious conflict in the future is to discuss our religious differences and similarities in open, engaging, and respectful ways. We are not always going to agree. We are not always going to like the opinions other people hold. In some cases, these opinions may go against the very essence of our moral codes, may make us twitch to hear said aloud, and we may find ourselves reevaluating whether or not we can continue to associate with people who could believe something so contrary to our own ethics. But we need to keep talking, keep seeking to understand before seeking to be understood, because by the nature of our different faiths, there exist beliefs that stand in direct conflict with those of other faiths.

I am sure that for many of you who spent any time on Facebook last week, when the Supreme Court heard some critical arguments about the legality of gay marriage, you probably saw many of your Facebook friends changing their profile pictures to the red equal sign in support of legalizing gay marriage (like I did for the two days). Whether or not you agree with the viewpoint that gay marriage should be legalized, I imagine it got a lot of us thinking, as we noticed who decided to openly demonstrate their support (or, in some cases, opposition).

Facebook proselytizing aside, the point of interfaith discussion is not to agree 100% of the time. It is certainly lovely to meet someone else and say, "Wow! You agree with me? How great!" But it also vital that we grow by exploring other beliefs, by trying to understand other points of view both to better solidify our own beliefs, but also to be more empathetic when dealing with people different from ourselves. It can be very easy to spot someone who has not had their beliefs challenged, or who has never engaged in truly open interfaith discussion, because they do not follow the mantra "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."

I recently mentioned to some friends that it's pretty ironic, but when I'm down here in Southern Virginia, I feel like I need to defend a more liberalized viewpoint, for example, being pro-gay marriage. But then I go back home to the North, where many people consider themselves much more "open" to other viewpoints, I often feel like I need to defend a more conservative religious viewpoint, like anti-gay marriage. Certainly not because I agree with the anti-gay viewpoint, but because holding one belief does not automatically render someone a bad person. Everyone is made up of a variety of beliefs and opinions, and we will rarely agree with someone completely on every issue. Most of the religious conversations I have, especially about topics on which I disagree with someone, are with the intent to have as much knowledge as possible so that I can defend their viewpoint to other people. I know some things would be deal breakers for me, but for a lot of my friends I disagree with on certain issues, I can see why they believe what they believe, given their backgrounds and life experiences. I just don't agree.

I try to think back to my mindset in high school. If you had asked me then if I could ever be friends with someone who opposed gay marriage, I would have been horrified and adamantly shouted, "Of course not! How prejudiced and bigoted and no way could I ever compromise my morals to that degree that I could associate with someone who thought that way!" Now, though, I cannot help but feel sadness when I hear some people I know saying those exact same words. There are many reasons people could oppose gay marriage, and no one I have ever spoken with about this have said anything horrible enough for me to "unfriend" them. Many, many people on this planet believe that the Torah or the Bible was written exclusively according to something G-d said. Those who do not believe this, or, like me, believe that G-d inspired the Torah but then man added in their own prejudices over the centuries, will never convince very religious people otherwise.

And we should not try to. We can present our viewpoint in the attempt to have others understand us, as well (our intent to understand should not lead to ignoring the second part of that phrase, "Then seek to be understood), but not with the the sole purpose of changing someone's mind.

 And so too should the very religious not try to convince us that their mindset is right. I'm sure some of you have gathered how frustrating I find it when yet another middle-aged man hands me a Bible, or there is a huge sign in our Student Center that says "I can tell you if you're going to Heaven!" or, like last Friday, when there is a man with a ten-foot high wooden cross on my campus and a sign reading, "Jesus died for your sins." The implication here to a non-Christian, or at least to me, is that these Christians believe that because I do not worship Jesus as the son of G-d, that I have erred by choosing the wrong faith. That I am a bad human being and undeserving of G-d's love, because clearly I am praying to the wrong concept of "G-d." That being anything other than Christian is wrong. Maybe it's because I'm Jewish, and we purposely try to dissuade people from converting to Judaism, but it always feels like an attack. Even the Dalai Lama, when he visited my college in October (and answered my question about interfaith relations for fifteen minutes!) said that he would recommend staying the religion in which you were raised, which leads me to believe that he might think like I do: in the end, there is no one "right" religion, we just have to live the best lives we can. I do not think we get to Heaven or the afterlife or whatever you call it and G-d says, "Good job Jews! You had the right beliefs. Everyone else, you all fail." I just don't think it works that way.

I hope that most religious people eventually evaluate their consciences, and try to think about other points of view rather than blindly trying to push their beliefs on others. What if they had been adopted by a non-Christian? They would probably believe just as wholeheartedly in another faith's mantra (just as my birthmother was Christian, yet I have been raised Jewish because that was what my parents decided when they adopted me). It almost seems random. Or what if they were gay, and as a result their religious community would only accept them if they remained celibate? There are an infinite number of scenarios that can challenge our beliefs, and I think self-reflection like this is healthy. But please stop trying to give me Bibles, you proselytizers of the world, or I might start waving the Torah in your face and see how you like it.

So back to the positive: the title of this post actually comes from the subject line of an e-mail I just received this afternoon from the IFYC (Interfaith Youth Corps). Basically, the IFYC is a group that seeks to mobilize young people and encourage them to seek out interfaith situations in order to better understand people of other faiths. I received the e-mail because this Thursday, April 4, people throughout the country will be wearing blue to show their support for interfaith engagement. What a great idea! The idea is that we are better together, better when we all work together to make the world a better place, rather than ignoring the differences, which can lead to misunderstandings and fighting. You can also sign the "blue" pledge here: http://www.ifyc.org/node/8888



I hope some of you will join me in showing support by wearing blue on Thursday. I know it does not actually do something, it's not like donating to charity for example, but it shows solidarity, and maybe it will encourage someone to engage in an interfaith conversation. But even if you don't wear blue, I hope that you join the fight for greater interreligious understanding. Maybe bring up that awkward subject with someone you know you will probably disagree with; it will probably not go wonderfully every time--believe me, I know. Or share this blog with someone new, someone you think might appreciate a new perspective (and add your e-mail to the box at the top so you receive a message when the blog is updated). Most importantly, if you come to these issues with an open heart, and a true desire to seek a greater understanding of your fellow human beings, then you cannot do any better than that.

I have also added a poll on the left side of the blog, right under my bio, that will be open for a week. If you have a minute and feel comfortable sharing where you fall on the religious spectrum, I would love to know just how interfaith our readers are. And, as ever, please feel free to comment on this post, whether you agree or disagree: I am always open to discussion, and engaging with different view points.

Now go out and love one another. And wear blue on Thursday.

<3,
Allyson