Let's talk a little bit about my relationship with Orthodox Judaism. As many of you know, I participated in a pluralistic Jewish internship program last summer, CLIP, and it changed my life. "Pluralistic" means that the program had Jewish people from across the spectrum, from those who rarely engage with the religion at all, to those who live every day in more conservative religious communities. I had never even met an American Orthodox Jew before, let alone debated religious theology with anyone before. I would say in terms of the spectrum I fell, as a Reform Jew, somewhere closer to the liberal side, but still more engaged than most of the "liberal" Jews I know.
But then CLIP happened, and I found myself questioning my personal faith journey. Was I content with going to synagogue a few times a year? Comfortable with simply wearing my plain gold Star of David necklace and hoping that at least some people saw it and recognized that I am a member of the tribe? I am so proud to be Jewish, to participate in a beautiful, ancient religion, whose moral principles I find to be the most meaningful (though I do see positive aspects to all religions), to practice a faith that even today, many people would kill me for practicing. Judaism is about faith, but it's also about acknowledging that history, the constant presence of antisemitism in our world since ancient times and just how much Jewish people have fought to keep practicing this faith. When I think about Jews as the "Chosen" people, it is about recognizing that as a religious people we are deemed to suffer from antisemitic prejudice constantly, and yet we have still so far managed to maintain our moral, religious principles in adverse situations.
Last summer, I had days when I did not want to be Jewish at all. My peers were fairly vocal about their opposition to interfaith marriage, and because I am adopted from a non-Jewish birthmother they did not consider me Jewish (something I am strongly against, the maternal bloodline determination). It felt like a hostile atmosphere (at least in the beginning), very different from what I had grown up experiencing in my Reform synagogue.
Dear Orthodox Judaism,
Shalom! Kudos on eating kosher, I appreciate your willpower to avoid eating bacon. But in all seriousness, your way of living is often very beautiful. In an increasingly sexualized America, when women and men head to bars in tight outfits searching for similarly lonely people to spend a few nights with, you have managed to maintain a level of respect for sexuality that I applaud. Your commitment to prayer is really beautiful. I also don't mind the "no technology" on Shabbat thing. I hate Facebook. I hate feeling the constant need to see if anyone has sent me an e-mail. I think everyone should try to take one day off from technology each week! I know there are a lot of type of Jewish people who consider themselves "Orthodox," I guess I would consider becoming "Modern Orthodox," if anything, like the ones who don't wear black hats. Oh, and as a blanket statement, I'm sorry for always forgetting to stop talking when someone washes their hands before eating. My bad.
But there are a lot of things I can't support in Orthodoxy. Like the bloodline thing--why are you using such animalistic terms to determine who is Jewish? Don't we want people raised in the religion to want to stay, and not feel like there's something physically "impure" about them? I know, I know, the Torah says it. I vote we look at the Torah again, try to find new ways to interpret that part, just as rabbinic authorities have been commenting on the Torah for millenia. And then there's the whole gender thing. I know, the religion gives a lot of respect to women, but I'm just not okay with inequality. Like men can sing solos in front of women, but not the opposite? I sing constantly. Like, in public, luckily I don't get embarassed easily but I'm guessing the people I hang out with mind sometimes. I can't help it. But only Orthodox boys can sing solos? I don't like that, just like I don't like the whole "women can't read from the Torah" thing. I love reading from the Torah. It is such a mitzvah. Can't we take another look at that passage in the Torah? And the passage about needing ten men for a minyan [to pray]? Women count as people, too...And yeah, women covering their hair after marriage but not the men, and women wearing skirts whereas men wear pants. I like pants. And hugs. Sorry if I ever accidentally hug you, I really just love hugs and I try to physically restrain myself, because I know some of your Orthodox boys do not touch girls, but I just love hugs!
In conclusion, I don't hate Orthodoxy. I would probably love the sense of community and Judaism, to be honest, if I were to become Orthodox. I have Orthodox friends, and we get along very well. But I'm going to keep singing. And reading from the Torah. And hey, maybe I'll even become a rabbi.
I just hope that you realize that there are a lot of Jewish people like me. You might not consider me "halakhically" Jewish, but I am a type of Jewish. I feel a kinship with you whenever I see some of you walking along the streets in New York, some wearing a kippah, some with payot. We look different, but we can say the Mourner's Kaddish together. We could sing the Shema together. We could bless the bread, bless the wine, dance traditional dances together. I spend every day fighting against antisemitism. I am committed to this faith. So the next time you hear about a "secular" Jew like me, try to remember that for all our differences in opinion and practice, I love Judaism in its many different forms.
I hope you can find some way to "love" me a fellow tribe member, even if you don't really consider me "Jewish." Think about it.
Now go out and love one another.
<3,
Allyson
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